Welcome! Nuestra Casa Es Su Casa ...Our house is your house
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
This in an anonymous comment I received the other day very much like others I have received during the course of the past months. I'm not sure if they represent how many people are feeling or just a select few. I haven't responded to them. Today I would like to reply.
I have always been so very thankful for those who have loved, prayed for, and encouraged our family throughout the years. True friends are a treasure that far exceeds any material possession. I'm know there are still many people who think of and pray for our family. Thank you.
And there are probably many, many people who have wondered or continue to wonder how we are doing. I know if I were in their shoes, I would too.
Yes, many times people do hide parts that aren't good. Often, for fear of pain or rejection or numerous other reasons, people portray only what they want others to think about themselves even if it's a far cry from what's truly going on inside.
I know I have been guilty of that many times in my life.
But that is not what I want to do. And it is not my reason for not updating here.
Only those who have experienced first hand the pain and emotions that one goes through when going through what our family has gone/is going through can truly understand. Physically, emotionally, spiritually...everything is tried and affected.
I love my God, Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I love my husband. I love my children. And the past year, I have needed to focus entirely on my relationship with the Lord, my marriage, my family, and working through all the pain and issues that needed to be dealt with that healing may come. It is a very, very hard road. It is like being on a roller coaster ride with huge dips and turns and dives (only without the thrill/fun) that seems never ending. Just when your stomach slightly recovers from one loop, another one is about to happen.
I'm not hiding. I don't want anyone to think I am something I am not. I am a Christian who loves the Lord and has had to cling to Him and come to know Him like never before. I am a wife who is working through some incredible hurts. I am a wife who is working through many sins in her own life that the Lord keeps weeding out. I am a mom who needs to be there for her children...there to help them adjust to a new home/country, keep them going on school, keep clothes and house clean, tummies fed, and ear open to listen.
Tears, questions, confusion, discouragement, anger, pain....hope, surrender, faith, obedience, peace. So much. And the Lord is carrying us through.
I haven't been hiding. I've just need to focus my time and energy on what's most needed. Some days it has felt like just trying to survive. Wondering if life will ever feel normal again or what normal even is. Wondering if there will ever be good days. Wanting to get off this ride. Wanting the healing to be complete.
But it is something you can't rush.
God makes all things beautiful in His time. We have the Wonderful Counselor. And He has promised that we will never be alone. He will walk this journey with us. And there have been good days.
As I journey, I have journal-ed, but privately. There are things that I think or feel one day that in time, I come to see very differently. There are honest, raw feelings that I need to only share with the Lord or with Daniel or maybe with our pastor or close friend. It isn't because I want to hide, but because it just isn't the time or place.
Will I ever share more? If the Lord wants me to someday, I will. Yes, others are helped when we are open about what we have gone through and how the Lord helped us. If He wants me to someday, I will.
I hope that helps you understand. Thank you for praying for us.
Thursday, October 09, 2014
Monday, October 06, 2014
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Friday, we dropped Timothy off at West Coast Baptist College. That was NOT easy! Elijah and Samuel went with us. Samuel thought the 3 hour orientation that we sat through was "college". After getting Timothy all settled in his dorm, we walked together to the car. I told Samuel to say good-bye to brother. He looked at me and said, "I thought college was done?" When I told him Timothy had a lot more college to do and when he suddenly realized that Timothy was not getting back into the car with us, he said, "We aren't going to have 12 children anymore? Only 11?" As I looked at 5 year old Samuel, a flood of memories washed over me. Wasn't it just yesterday that I started Timothy in Kindergarten? Did I just take him to the park, push him on the swings, watch him bat a ball to his brother, and help him match his clothes...wait...maybe I still do the last one. :) So proud, so excited, and soooo missing him! Thankfully he's only a phone call/email away and most importantly, always in the loving care of our Lord!
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
We are all doing well...well, except for Daniel who's in the hospital right now. He's been out of town working and got a severe case of pancreatitis. Thankfully, he's working with his brother in law and he got him to the ER early Tuesday morning. They thought at first he was having a heart attack, but later determined it was abdominal and the tests pointed to his pancreas. He's stable, but in a lot of pain, and on a complete fast in order to let his pancreas heal. He's about 3 1/2 hours from us. I just want to be with him, and am hoping to get down there by this evening. Please pray.
Timothy and Elijah graduated this year, and last week a dear friend of mine, who is also an amazing photographer, got together with us for a photo shoot. We hadn't had a family picture taken in 3 years, so this was so special. She took individuals of the children, shots of the brothers, the sisters, Daniel and I, and several of Timothy and Elijah for their Senior pictures. Sweet pictures, fun pictures, and everything in between. I think we were out there for about 3 hours. I can't wait to get our disc and will be sure to share some with you all when I get them.
Timothy is heading to Bible college this week. If Daniel's still in the hospital, I'll be driving him there myself. I'm so very proud, excited, sad, and missing him all at once.
We started our new school year last week, but are taking a break this week with Daniel's situation and getting Timothy ready to go. We'll start back up, Lord willing, after Labor Day and am excited about another year to learn and grow together.
The path has been long and hard, but there are so many beautiful sights along the way. We appreciate your prayers so much. God is so very faithful and so good!
Saturday, June 14, 2014
But sometimes the pages of the story are hard to read and the ending unknown. I know who the Author is. And I'm trusting and resting on him. When the days are weary and the long nights dreary I know my Savior cares. Looking forward to the day I can a story that brings glory to God. He is so faithful and so good.
Please continue pray for us.