Learning to sing in harmony

We wanted to share this with Grandma, but couldn't get it to email; I knew I could post it here and she could follow the link, so you all can listen too :) It's Elijah's 12th birthday today. Daddy is going to take him and Timothy rabbit hunting for a bit this morning. Hope you are all having a wondeful week in the Lord!

The Windows of Heaven

The windows of heaven are open.

The blessings are falling tonight.

There's joy, joy, joy in my heart

Since Jesus made everything right.

I gave Him my old tatered garment,

He gave me a robe of pure white.

I'm feasting on manna from heaven,

And that's why I'm happy tonight.

Do I believe?

How often do I believe I will receive that for which I pray? Is it merely the words which one prays that moves the hand of God or the simple child like faith from which those words flow?

I'm afraid for much of my life, I have prayed not really expecting an answer. I know this because I think of how often I have been surprised when that prayer is answered.

I know often I have prayed because it was the right thing to do. Often I have prayed for somebody asking the Lord to save them or change them but while I would have never outright said it, I didn't really think it would happen. That person was about beyond all help in my mind...too hard hearted, too stubborn, too set in their ways, etc... How quick I can be to limit in my mind what the Lord can and wants to do! And how sad to think that it would be any harder for Him to work in one person's heart than it was/is for Him to work in my own!

What has drawn me to my knees more in my life than anything else is when I am going through a trial. I have been so very convicted the past several weeks about how often I neglect the Lord. How often I go about my day or my plans without being in constant communion with Him. I asked the Lord to show me how much I need Him. And I meant it. And He has gently been answering.

Do you know how He answered? I have felt more insecure in myself than ever before! What I mean by that is that each day, I began to see more and more how futile everything "I am" or "I do" or "I think" really is. I can be so proud!
How much I need Him to direct each step of my days! How much I need His strength, grace, and love. My strength is so weak; my love falls so short. When I am trusting in the Lord with all my heart and not leaning unto my own understanding; when I am acknowledging Him in all my ways allowing Him to direct my paths, then I can be assured that my labor is not in vain in the Lord!
What are those things that are most important to me?
* That my children would realize the condition of their sinful hearts, see the amazing love and mercy of a God who gave Himself for them, accept Him as their Savior and Lord, walk in obedience to Him, and grow in their love for Him and others.
* That the Lord will use my husband to preach His Word. That the Lord will give him all the wisdom, strength, courage, and guidance he needs each day. That he will be used in whatever time he has here on earth to bring to others the gospel.
* That the people here in our town will come to Christ and grow in their faith, knowledge and love of Him; that they will themselves reach to all those around them.
*And oh how many things I desire in my life- patience, love, meek and quiet spirit, wisdom, humility...so many things that only HE can work in me!

All these things...I can do none of them. It is only Jesus Christ! And how I am finding myself leaning on Him, cleaving to Him, and going to Him more and more.

And I am beginning to pray believing and knowing that He will do what I ask. When I feel angry and I know I should show love...but all I want to do is get away or say something I know I shouldn't...I pray, "Lord, I am angry. I know it is wrong. I am sorry. Please change my heart. Help me to love this person as you love them...as you love me. Help me to think of ways to bless them." And while it does not usually happen instantly, I find that my heart does change! And it's not something that could have possibly ever come from me nor was it a change at all in the circumstances...it was the Lord's work!

Oh, He is so wonderful, so faithful, so just, and so true.

Yesterday afternoon, Abigail didn't know what to do, so I asked her if she wanted to help me make a dessert for supper. We settled on a cake and while we were mixing it up, the thought popped into my head to divide it between two smaller pans and take one to Brother Juan and his family. So I told the children we would all have just a tiny piece of dessert and give a cake to Brother Juan too. The children readily agreed...except for Noah...but he got out-voted :).
So after the children were asleep and the older boys were playing a game, Daniel and I took baby Samuel and went over to Juan's house to visit for a bit. When we got there, Juan's brother, Juaquin was there. Juaquin also goes to our church and was saved/baptized this year and has been so very faithful and excited about what the Lord has done in his life.
We asked Juaquin why he was there, and he said sadly that his wife (who is not yet saved) got upset and told him to leave the house. He said she wants to end the marriage.
Daniel was able to open the Bible and share several verses with Juaquin about what he needs to do right now and then we were all able to pray together.
One of the first things Daniel told Juaquin to do was to fast and pray for his wife. Juaquin said that he could but it really would probably do little good as his wife was so influenced by her family and he didn't see any way she would reconcile with him.
And Daniel said, "If you can't pray in faith believing that the Lord will work, then you shouldn't pray. If you lack faith, then ask God to give it to you. Ask with your whole heart; beg Him for it. He will give it to you. And then you can pray and then God will work."
That touched my heart as how often this past year I have asked the Lord for the faith I know I lack. Oh, how He loves us! Oh how He loves to give such precious, priceless gifts out of His abundant never-ending grace...faith, wisdom, love, peace, joy, meekness.
Oh, I have so far to go, yet He has brought me so far. It is a narrow road, but a blessed one!
If you think of Brother Juaquin and his wife (they have 2 little girls) please pray for them. The Lord is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance!

Today is Samuel's 1st Birthday!

S weet and precious baby boy whom we were not sure if we'd meet,
A lways excited each time we saw your heart on that monitor beat.
M y heart cried out day and night to our Father in heaven above,
U nderstanding and knowing that all He allows is because of His great love.
E leven siblings prayed each day for their brother and their mommy too,
L ittle voices praying with hardly a doubt...just hearing them, my faith grew.

T he night finally came, I shall never forget, you could no longer in me stay,
H olding your Daddy's hand so tight, Psalms 23 we did pray,
O nly silence and then the voice of the doctor full of surprise,
M iracle that they could not explain, the Lord had answered our cries!
A name we needed for our little boy, then suddenly it came,
S AMUEL means "God has heard", a testimony shared through his name.

L ittle by little, you began to grow, we spent hours each day by your side,
O unce by ounce, you reached four pounds, a few weeks more, you hit five.
C ounting the days until you could come home, on day 44 that day came,
K isses and hugs, tears of joy, our lives would never be the same.
W eeks passed, and then you got so sick, we watched you struggle with each breath,
O ur hearts so broken, praying day and night, you were so close to death.
O ur littlest son, for whom we have prayed, littlest brother to eleven,
D eclare each day through your life and name, the glory of our Father in Heaven.

Praising the Lord today for the great things He has done!
Thanking Him for giving us Samuel.
Remembering how near He was to us during all those uncertain days and the peace He gave.
Holding right now, my chubby, little baby boy, surrounded by children laughing and giddy with excitement as we plan a special celebration to thank the Lord for little Samuel.

Abigail, don't try to fly :)

The last of the children just went to sleep and the house is quiet. I have papers to grade, a couple letters to write, a sewing project to work on, and long to spend some time in prayer. But I wanted to write to let you know, by the grace of God, we are all alive and well. :) I know some of you worry when you don't see a post for a while.

Sigh...while I have more than enough things I want to share...things the Lord is teaching us, how He's working in our hearts and the people here... I have 12 children. :) And they are growing so quickly. And it seems while as they grow, they are able to help do so much more, I'm needed all the more as well.

They need my time, my attention, my love, my teaching...and I find more and more, the need to lay my desires aside to give myself to them. My desires may be good, but I want to chose to lay aside the good for the best.

The longer I've been a mother, the more I've come to need the Lord. The more I yearn for His grace in my life and in the lives of each of my children. And the more I see my own flaws. And the more I love Him for His salvation.

It was an extra busy week last week. A propane line to our house accidently got cut during a plumbing job, so we were without stove/oven, hot water or dryer for a couple of days. My clothes line had been taken down as we were finishing enclosing the back yard, so I was at a bit of a loss as to how to dry the laundry.

Then last Tuesday night, Abigail was apparently standing on the top of the fort and jumped off. Don't ask...we don't know what ever gave her the notion to do such a thing...she is like me sometimes in that she has trouble keeping her balance on the ground. :) She doesn't know why she was up there either...she doesn't remember anything.

Benjamin saw her jump but wasn't sure why she did. Poor thing, she suffered a bit of a concussion and was throwing up all through the night and into the next morning. I just added the dirty blankets and towels to my already huge mountain of laundry.

Thankfully, she recovered by the next day and my gas line was repaired soon after!

Friday and Saturday, Daniel took our two oldest boys and 4 men/young men from our church here and traveled 5 hours north to a mission's conference. What a blessed time they all had! Brother Juan, Juaquin, and Ivan shared testimonies of the time there last night during our evening service. It was so exciting to them to see other Christians who have the same Lord and faith!

I need to get going, but thought I'd post a few pictures from last week.

We got a surprise care package in the mail...we were really excited!! How sweet...literally!

I love mornings! New day, new beginning...children scattered around working on their chores, reading their Bibles and waiting eagerly for the call for breakfast.

Oh, and I can't forget to share about our second trip out to the town of Zaragoza Thursday. We had a whole group of teens listen to the entire message. Daniel preached right to them! Praying they will return this week!

The Lord is so faithful and good! What a wonderful God we serve!

Meet our Family...

Daniel will tell you, I am definitely a follower! And while I'm not very creative, I am always inspired by others who are and love to copy a good idea when I see it.
My sweet, young, friend, Amy (mommy of 11), recently put up a page on her blog where you could read a little about each member of her family. I thought that was a great idea! So, with her permission, I copied her...only I used my own children's names and pictures, not her's. :)
So if you look at the top of our blog, right under our header, you will see 2 new links. One says "Home" and the other "Meet Our Family." I've got a couple more ideas to add to that area too, but for now...click on the "Meet Our Family" link and let us know what you think.
May the Lord bless this new week He's given!

Learning to Lean

I have had a tough past couple of weeks. Emotionally I felt so drained. This I know, that when one give His life to Jesus Christ and purposes to live for Him, to give all for Him, to completely follow Him, Satan will do all he can to cause that one to stumble and fall.

Oh, how crafty he is! And how many ways he utilizes to fulfil his purposes. I know as women, we are often led by our emotions. God gave the woman strong emotions; He made her with a tender heart and a sensitive spirit. That's good as woman bear children and become mommies. :) But clearly, as the Bible teaches, women are the weaker vessel and can be easily deceived.

For this reason, how very important it is for us to not only be under our husbands but to also fill our hearts and minds with the truth of God's Word. How often have we heard, even from the time we were little girls reading 'harmless' fairytales, to "follow your heart". What a heap of trouble I would be in if I followed my heart! Jeremiah 17:9 tells us our heart is deceitful above all things.

So this week I was feeling so discouraged. Some hurtful things were said, I was tired with just the normal tiredness of being a mommy to 12, I was feeling lonely, and dealing with a few physical ailments.

But when my heart feels so sad or discouraged, I know just where I need to be...in God's Word. Conviction came over many things and so did the wonderful joy and peace of forgiveness. I tend to often look to the immediate rather than the long term. My focus so quickly gets off the goal and my head droops right down to my feet in front of me...and how quickly I can then get off the path! But "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path!" I was encouraged and given direction which I soaked in like dry ground through times of Bible reading and prayer.

I'm so thankful that through the hard days, I longed to rise early to meet my Lord. And at night, I left my writings, sewing, and other things alone and again went to Jesus. Sometimes, to be honest, I just felt like moping and that it would be useless to even try to read and pray, but that's one of those things in which my heart is deceitful. For it is never in vain to seek the Lord! And how those times with Him gave me just what I needed to continue doing what I needed to do.

And how impatient I can be! I want a trial to end now! But the Lord wants me to be still and rest patiently in Him. He wants me to wait on Him. And He wants to work and to be honest, I really do want His work in me! How much He teaches me; how good is He to continue to shape and mold me. How hot that fire can feel, but how I need the purifying it brings.

And how good He is to bring sweet drops of refreshment just when we need it. Words to strengthen our hearts...words from His very lips that bring such sweet comfort and hope.

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Yesterday afternoon, we got into the bus and went to pick up those from our church here who desired to go our with us to Zaragoza to begin sharing the gospel with the people there.

I think we had as many people go that we almost had at prayer meeting Wednesday night! The mother of a girl who as gone to our church for years came as well...and she's never even gone to church with us before. She is unsaved and the ladies in our church have been working with her for so long...how their faces shone with hope to see her come!
Going anywhere on a bus is just simply fun! Everyone sang, passed around burritos and chips, and had such a wonderful time of fellowship.

Even sweet Juanita came. Turning 87 years old this year on our birthday (we share one-June 24 :) ), she must have been born earlier on in the day since she's older. If I sit on a chair, I can talk to her at eye level. But most importantly, I can give her a big hug :)

While the men set up chairs, a mircrphone/speakers, and other things, the children played.

And I took pictures because they always beg me to do so :)

When everything was finally ready, we began to sing and Daniel preached.

No, not many came...maybe only 4 or so heard and only 2 stayed for the message, but what a blessing for our church here to begin working to win those who have never heard.

Everyone is eager to return next week and work even harder to bring them in!

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On the home front, it's been just the simple day to day life...school, work, and play.

The little ones got up from their nap the other day and helped me make cookies. I smiled :) They are so fun!

Samuel, Samuel, Saumel...how do you grow so big?! A year old in 14 days...not that I'm counting. This is the first time I've had a baby celebrate their first birthday without them also about to become a "big" brother or sister. Sigh...does it seem silly if I tell you I have a twinge of sadness about it? How good though to know that just like I can trust the Lord when He brings us a baby every year and can trust Him if/when He doesn't. He always knows best. How good He is! How powerful and wonderful! How amazing the grace He gives!

Did I confuse anyone???

Earlier today, if you think that you saw what looked like the beginning of a post that was obviously not at all finished, you did :)
I had a few few minutes this morning before school, so I uploaded a few pictures and began to write. I must have left the page up and someone, must likely under that age of 4, apparently pushed the publish button. Oops! :) So I took it down and will put it back up once I finish.
I would like to ask you all to pray for our family and our church here tonight. We will be traveling out to another very small town to begin sharing the gospel.
Daniel went out to survey the town a few weeks ago. There is no church there which either means no one has ever tried to start one or the town is a very hard area in which to work. He was given permission by the town mayor to hold meetings in the town square. So last week, several of our older boys and Daniel and some from our church here went out there and went door to door passing out tracts and letting them know that the following week (today) we would be sharing a message from God's Word in the town square. We hope to be able to go out each Thursday and have either Daniel or one of the men in our church here preach a gospel message with the prayer that hearts will come to Christ and church will spring up in Zaragosa (the name of the town).
I was unable to go out last week because Eliseo's been sick with really bad diarrhea. We're hoping the whole family can join everyone tonight.
We'll be heading out later this afternoon and holding the meeting at 6 pm our time. Please pray for us and the people of Zaragosa. How we desire and are so thankful for your prayers! Sometimes the battle is so hard; we need ones to stand beside us an hold up our hands like Aaron and Hur did for Moses. Praise the Lord, ...and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith (I John 5:4).