Welcome! Nuestra Casa Es Su Casa ...Our house is your house

A glimpse into the life of Daniel and Jaynee Lockwood and their 12 precious blessings. Thank you for visiting; we pray that what we share here may always bring glory to our wonderful God and Saviour. May you praise the Lord with us for the great things He has done and continues to do as we serve Him sharing the gospel here in the little town of Cuidad Insurgentes, BCS Mexico. He alone is good and faithful!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

I said I would share my story

But sometimes the pages of the story are hard to read and the ending unknown.   I know who the Author is.   And I'm trusting and resting on him. When the days are weary and the long nights dreary I know my Savior cares.   Looking forward to the day I can a story that brings glory to God.   He is so faithful and so good.
Please continue pray for us.

Saturday, June 07, 2014

Home

All settled in our little mountain home.   The Lord's provision has been a sweet reminder of his great love.  

Monday, June 02, 2014

Traveling north

 An afternoon at the park while Daniel and the older boys go to the DMV.   Guess which group got sun burnt?   When you need to register a foreign car,  bring your  vehicle import papers,  fill out the proper form and wear sun screen :-)
About 14 hours more till we reach our new home.  Please keep praying for safety as we  travel. 
Thank you so much for all your prayers.

Sunday, June 01, 2014

Even when it is soooo hard


When you just don't want to let go....
 Your very dearest friends....
 And neighbors....
 Who you love so very much....
 As close as a sister could be...
 And the tears won't stop falling...
Not knowing if you will ever see their faces again...
 I thank the Lord for 10 precious years...
 For the friendships that will last for eternity....
 Hearts forever knit together....
 Knowing you will forever be prayed for and loved...
 By the ones who you will always love and pray for...
Best friends....
 New sisters in Christ....
 For all eternity...
 Good-byes are soooo very hard....
But by God's amazing grace, they are only temporary.


 Sweet last trip to our store...
 To buy a couple treats for the road...
 One last walk together home...
Feet covered in that dirt we miss soooooooooooooo much....
God bless you, Baja California Sur.
We miss you so much.
A huge piece of our heart stays with you.

Philippians 1:3-11 

Please continue to pray for our family.  
For safety as we travel the rest of the way back home the next couple days.
For the Lord's provision.  Than Daniel can find a job soon.
For healing for our marriage.
For the children as they transition to a new culture as they miss their Mexico so much.
Praising the Lord we found a home to rent.
God is so faithful and so very good!

Thursday, May 01, 2014

Forever. For always. No matter what.

I said I would try to update here as I felt I could.  So much has happened.  Some of it such stands out in my mind as clear as it happened only a moment ago, and some of it feels like such a blur.  Much must be kept private.  Much I'm pondering in my heart.  Some I may share in time.  For right now, I'm taking it day by day.  Sometimes hour by hour.  Knowing God will give His grace and that is all I need.

Among what have been the hardest, darkest days of my life, I have seen things so precious and so beautiful.  In the midst of pain and uncertainty, during the nights so long and weary, during days where hopeful waves came when maybe it was only a bad dream and it wasn't really happening.  God is there.  As close as He ever is.  Longing to be trusted and loved as He always is.  And His presence has held me so close.  As I see how weak I am, how lacking is my faith, He holds me, comforts me, and let me know He cares.

A dear friend of mine wrote me and said the Lord asked her to do something for the entire month of April...a sacrifice to Him.  As she sought His face, dwelt in His Word and prayed, the Lord impressed upon her that maybe she was standing in the gap for someone else.  And the Lord put me on her heart.  And didn't let me leave her mind.  And she prayed.  And prayed.  Before she even knew what our family was going through or maybe before I even knew, God placed me on her heart and she prayed.  In days where doubts attack like a mighty army seeking to overcome, and I wondered if God even remembered me, she wrote.  And I felt SO loved by my God.  He did remember.  He was there.  He is in control and He cares so much.

The comments, emails, phone calls....when I think of them, my heart melts with the love and care God shows through His people.  I don't deserve His goodness, and I know much of my life (and maybe to some extent still struggle) I feel like I must do more to be loved.  But when I am so weak that I can't offer anything other than brokenness and tears and if it wasn't for a family that needed to be cared for, I would in vain try to get up from my bed, God shows me how much He loves me.

Psalms 143.  When I thought I would die, these words brought life.  It was 3 days after everything happened.   Sleep I longed for in which to escape the pain wouldn't come.  I checked the clock again- 3:43 am.  I walked down the hall and collapsed in my husband's chair.  I thought I should pray, but couldn't.  I saw his Bible and thought I should read, but didn't want to.  I sad there hurting, staring, with the feeling that all I knew had slipped away.  I reached over, opened Daniel's Bible, and started reading.  Psalms 143.

Hear my prayer, O LORD, give ear to my supplications:  in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness.
And enter not into judgment with thy servant:  for in thy sight shall no man living be justified.
For the enemy hath persecuted my soul;  he hath smitten my life down to the ground; he hath made me to dwell in darkness, as those that have been long dead.
Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate.

Yes.  That is how I feel.  Oh, Lord, help.

I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands.

And I began to remember.  I sat there for almost an hour remembering.  10 years ago, we had a yard sale and sold most everything we had.  I remember Timothy and Elijah had a lemonade and cookie stand at the sale.  I remember they sold their toys.  We were going to Mexico where God had called us.  We took our 7 children, left our home, and moved into our travel trailer while we trusted God to bring us to where He'd called us.    I remember the first home he gave us.  A tiny house of 600 square feet that felt like a mansion after living in the 230 sq. ft trailer.  I remembered trying to fit into a land where the I didn't understand the language or culture, where everything seemed so different, wanting so much to be used yet feeling so useless.  I remembered time and time again where we prayed for God's provision and story after story come to my mind of the ways he supplied.  Sweet babies added to our family.  Illnesses, surgeries, trials.  God brought us through them all.  I remembered walking down these dusty roads with our little ones carrying two of them inviting people to come hear God's Word preached.  Sharing with them the good news that Jesus did it all and they could have complete forgiveness and new life by faith in Him.  The job of church planting was so much more than we knew.  Tears, work, joys, trials, rejection, growth, changed lives.   I remembered pulling our travel trailer onto this piece of land.  No drainage, no power, only one water spigot.  Digging ditches to put in utilities, morning sicknesses, wanting to go back home.  But the Lord brought us here and kept us here.  And what seemed to be impossible, He did.  He gave us a home.  He raised up a precious church full of men, women, and children who declare what great things HE has done for them.  Lives so broken and hurting to lives full of joy and freedom.  And I learned the language, and the things that had seemed so different to me, I grew to love.  And my heart began to swell with love.  Deep friendships.  Hearts knit so closely.  And this became my home.  My children growing up here.  This is their home.   Seeing them learn the language (better than mommy!), their sweet friendships, serving the Lord in so many ways together.  And as I remembered, the tears stopped flowing from hurt and began to flow from gratefulness and joy.  God has been so faithful and so good to us!  And rather than the overflowing ache that filled my heart of all I was losing, a flood of thankfulness overcame me for all He had given me.

I stretch fourth my hands unto thee:  my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land.  Selah.

And so many times I have taught my children and the children in our church and the ladies in our church about surrender.  That all we have comes from God and to always live our lives in complete surrender to His will.  And right there I opened my hands, lifted them up to my Lord and told Him that I knew all I had came from Him, and He could have it.  I give it to him.  My life, my husband, my children, my home, all I have, all I do.  It is His.

Hear me speedily, O Lord:  my spirit faileth:  hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit.
Cause me to hear thy loving kindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust:  cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.

I looked out my living room window, and the sun was shining in.  Morning had come.  And the Lord had let me hear his loving kindness.  And when for 3 days I didn't know how to "do this", I now knew. I didn't need to know.  I just needed to trust.  God would show me.  He would lead me.  He would sustain me.  I'm again selling all I have, I don't know when we will leave, where we will live, where Daniel will work, and what will happen.  But I know the One who knows.  And I'd rather have Him and nothing than to have everything without him.

So many prayers have already been answered.  I'll share more later.
So many more prayers being made.  Seemingly impossible needs.  But an unlimited, wonderful God who delights in a broken and contrite heart...that He will not despise.  Sin hurts and has its consequences.  But God's grace reaches farther than our deepest sin.  In the dark, lonely valleys is where there the rich soil lies...and the sweet fruit can grow.

I love the Lord.  And I love the husband He's given me.  Forever.  For Always.  No Matter What.




Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Will you walk with us?

When I posted on Monday, I thought that letting everyone know what had happened was simply the right thing to do.  Looking in on someone's life through a blog or other media or trying to share your life with another this way can be hard.  I have loved sharing what the Lord has done in our lives and love being able to encourage another.
It wasn't an easy thing to post Monday, and while I don't share every little detail of life here, I have always tried to share both the joys and trials....the good and the not so good.  And so I share what has been the hardest trial yet.
I thought that after I shared, I would close this chapter of life via the blog.  I would privatize the blog so I could someday print it up as a journal of our time here in Mexico, but didn't see the need to write further.
We have been so blessed by the outpouring of love, care, and prayer for our family.  To truly experience God's grace in such a real way has touched our hearts in the midst of our pain and given us such hope.
The first few days after everything happened, I was in such a dark cloud.  I remember standing in the kitchen, sobbing, and saying, "Lord, I don't know how to do this.  I don't know what to think, what to do, what to feel, how we will make it.  I just don't know how."  I hadn't read a book on this.  Nor would I have ever wanted to.  I'd heard about this happening before, but I'd hear someone confessed, had to leave, and that was the end.  I don't know what happens next.
Confession, repentance, brokenness, forgiveness, love, grace, growth....ashes to beauty.  That is what I believe our Lord can do!  I don't want Monday to be the end of our story.  Yes, this chapter has come to a bleak end, but another chapter is about to be written.
Will you walk with us?  I think the Lord may want me to share this journey.  I don't know how often or how much.  But while I don't know the way, don't know what lies ahead, and my heart is sometimes overwhelmed with so much, I know the ONE who is not only walking with me but is leading the way.  I trust Him.  I love Him.  And I know He is here.
So many praying for us.  Tear flow unceasingly as we hear from those who care.

Psalms 143.  That is the Psalm the Lord gave me in my darkest night.  I will share that with you soon.





Monday, April 21, 2014

Hardest post I have ever had to publish

This morning, my husband sent out the following letter:


Dear Supporters and Friends,

     It is with great regret and sorrow that I write this letter to inform you of a personal moral failure.  I have confessed my sin to my pastor and after prayer and fasting, my pastor and the deacon board at our sending church have decided to remove me from the ministry immediately.  I am very saddened over the grief and damage I have caused to my wife, children, my church in Mexico, our supporters in the states, and the church at large.  I know I have disappointed many who have invested into our lives and ministry.

     My pastor and church have given me three months to transition from Mexico to the United States and to find a Mexican pastor to take over the ministry here.  Please pray for our family and church as we make this difficult transition.  We covet your prayers. Our family is so very grateful for the many years of support, generosity, prayers, and sacrifice.  

In Christ,
Daniel Lockwood


_____________________________________________________________________________


     Words fail me, but our God never fails.  Our hearts are broken, the grief is immense, but His grace is sufficient.  

     Thank you for your years of love, support, encouragement and care for our family and the people here.  Please continue to pray for us.  We need your prayers now more than ever.  

     God is so faithful and so good.